Sex Starving Is Not The Same As Sexual Purity… Somebody Tell Yvonne Nelson That For Me

Recently a popular Ghanaian actress known as Yvonne Nelson was in the news and on social media for disclosing that she had not had sex since January 2014. The story which was started off on Instagram by John Dumelo, also an actor and close friend of Yvonne Nelson, quickly got onto major online news websites in Ghana.

For the record, this is not the first time Yvonne Nelson is reported to have sex starved. Myjoyonline.com reported that she made similar disclosure during an interview in 2013. In that interview, she disclosed that she had not had sex for about seven months.

As one who believes in sexual purity, I feel the need to respond to Yvonne Nelson on her sex starving. Even though Ms. Nelson did not emphatically say that her sex starving is equivalent to sexual purity, I feel the need to address this issue because of the caliber of person that she is. For the good and the worst, people nowadays look up to these celebrities and would go all out to imitate them. Thus, for her fans’ sake, it is important to point out clearly that sex starving is NOT the same as sexual purity.

Yvonne Nelson & John Dumelo. Image Courtesy: http://www.africanmoviesnews.com

As the saying goes, “All that glitter is not gold.” Similarly, sex starving, as synonymous as it seems, is still very different from sexual purity. When you sex starve, you are denying yourself the pleasure of sex because the opportunity may have not presented itself or you have not met the ‘right’ person.

But that is not the case with sexual purity. A commitment to sexual purity is a decision to not have sex until marriage whether or not the opportunity presents itself, and whether or not you encounter the hottest person on earth.

Prior to committing to sexual purity I was not promiscuous but also did not consider myself to be sexually pure. For my entire teen years I was not having sex but cannot say for certain that I would not have done so if the opportunity presented itself. Even though I was not having sex, the reality is that it was so because the situation allowed it. In other words, I was only swimming with the tide. The story would have been very different if I got blown off my normal course.

This is usually the case with most young people. No one is born promiscuous. Promiscuity is a by-product of indecisive abstinence. When you are abstaining from sex simply because the situation or circumstance allows it, you are more likely to be swept off your feet and fall flaccid into the whims of whoredom when circumstances change. Perhaps this explains why Senior High School students (especially those in boarding schools) become sexually active and promiscuous. Suddenly, the few years of secondary education (often away from home) is able to transform the good Junior High School graduates into bad Senior High School boys and girls.

On the contrary, sexual purity is a commitment to abstain from sex whether or not the situation or circumstance allows it, and whether or not you encounter the hottest person on earth. A commitment to sexual purity does not shut down our sex hormones. It however implies exercising control over the flesh and daily subjecting it to the obedience of God’s Word.